Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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