i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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