Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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