I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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