Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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