So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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