put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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