I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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