The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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