Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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