I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize