I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
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I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
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But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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