I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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