how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I could make wine with my vomit
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Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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