I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
so much tequila, so little girl.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize