having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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