I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize