You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
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i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
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I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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