ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
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Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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