Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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