My first STD was from a foam party
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I touched a dick in church today
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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