i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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