this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
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My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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