Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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