Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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