i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
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You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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