i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize