I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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