Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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