she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
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She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
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2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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