Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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