I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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