i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
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He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
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Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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