oh god the rape fog is back!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize