I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
look no pants
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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