Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
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Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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