so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize