It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize