hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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