I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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