i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize