there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ketchup is God's man juice
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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