I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
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