we're chasing vodka with high fives
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
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States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
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We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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