Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Let's get the cat blown out
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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