The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
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I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
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He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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