is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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