So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
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