Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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