just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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